MONDAY - TV Rundown

So it was brought to my attention yesterday by my brother-in-law that I shouldn't be presenting myself as a TV expert if I don't watch the single greatest show on TV: "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia". And he was kind enough to stream a few episodes for me over Thanksgiving - namely the episode where they find a baby in a dumpster and the episode where they try out of the Philly Eagles.

Yes. Both episodes were hilarious. And it would now seem that I'm hooked on this sitcom about terrible people leading ethically void lives in 70's styled Philadelphia. Lo & behold to my surprise as well, I discovered that Showcase has been broadcasting the reruns late at night (so as not to offend the kiddies, I'm sure) So I will start catching up then. Won't be blogging anytime soon if I can't find a regular broadcast source for the new episodes (I can't keep up with what my box records for me, let alone what I could stream).

Today we're also gonna start introducing my new rating system! Yay! Let's add some more validity to this process!

Our scale will be a simple one, running the gamut from WINNER! to winner, meh, loser and last & most certainly meant to be least, LOSER.

Let's begin.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

Jane Lynch & Bruno Mars

Created by Lorne Michaels

Airdate: 10/9/10 - Viewdate: 10/9/10

All I can say about the Gloria Allred opener is that it wasn't a 'Presidential Address' and that in itself made it unique. If only I knew who Gloria Allred was. - loser

What does one have to do to become a regular on this show? I mean Abby Elliot gets to be a regular but Nasim Pedrad is still only a 'featuring'? If I'm not mistaken Nasim made me laugh many more times last season than Abby did, but maybe that's just me. The 'Gilly/Glee' sketch did show me that Abby Elliot can at least sing, something I didn't know.

Seems to me that when the writers don't have a clue about what makes the host funny, they write a song for them. Sure Jane Lynch carried it well, but was that really the best you could do in a week? - winner

"Damn, My Mom's on Facebook" commercial - winner

Glee/Gilly sketch. Now this is always gold, but that's because Gilly was there. I enjoy her the most because my fiance' hates it when I do my creepy Gilly impression. Score another for Kristen Wigg (who by the way, is more talented now than Molly Shannon ever was). - WINNER

"New Boyfriend Talk Show" - Surprisingly funny for one of their regularly featured 'in the home' talk shows. - winner

"Secret Word" - pretty much always a winner.

Digital short: It's great seeing Jane Lynch back in her creepy personae (a'la "The 40 Year Old Virgin" - winner

Dept store w/ Denzel Washington sketch. - Okay, I know this sketch only exists to showcaseJay Pharoah's uncanny impresonation of Denzel Washington (he eerily sounds EXACTLY like him) and that's okay. I'm hoping that this becomes a regular recurrence on par with 'What's Up With That'. - WINNER

Musical Guest: Bruno Mars - Okay, so I'm a movie,TV, Sci-Fi, discovery/national geographic channel nerd with multiclasses in comic books and WWII trivia - I am not a music nerd for anything post 2004. As this blog isn't meant for music, I will be swift: These guys sounded a Cuban doo-wop version of Maroon 5. Is that a bad thing? Well, for me, it was. - LOSER

Weekend Update: Can you say anything bad about this, ever? Well, maybe the visit from the Mexican travel official did fall a little flat. - winner

Suze Orman show - If only for Kristen Wigg's bizarre preformance - winner.

Sunday Night Foodball on NBC - this gets a pass from me for one reason and one reason only: Bill Hader's amazing Chris Collingsworth voice. - winner

Tax Masters: - Lame. Weak. - LOSER

So all around, factoring in today's scores, the Oct 9th SNL installment was an all around WINNER.

Next time: Amy Poehler & Katy Perry (YAY!)

Just came back from seeing 'The Social Network' and like everyone else, I thought it was brilliant and quite inspired. Is it the new 'Citizen Kane' as some have claimed? Of course not, but is it a contender for 'Best Adapted Screenplay', 'Best Director', & 'Best Picture next year? I do believe so. See it, if you can.

(due to being out watching said film, my updates will be behind once again. I do have a life after all. I do. Seriously.)

FRIDAY - TV Rundown

So I spent the first part of my night organizing all my hockey pool stuff (and by organizing I mean figuring who was on the same team and amalgamating them - I'M NEW AT THIS WHOLE "SPORTS" THING OKAY!?!) and now I actually get a chance to sit down and catch up just a tiny bit, get some reality TV off my list.

GO!

HELL'S KITCHEN

"11 Chef's Compete/10 Chef's Compete"

Directed by Sharon Troja Hollinger

Airdate: 10/6/10 - Viewdate: 10/6/10

If they hadn't done it before, 'Hell's Kitchen has surely jumped the shark by now. Don't get me wrong, I still love it to death - probably has something to do with my man-crush on Gordon Ramsey (or Gordo, as I think of him in my head... actually I don't. And I hope should I ever be famous he would never read this, cuz' 'Gordo' probably wouldn't go over very well) - but it would take Dr. Van Gelder's neural neutralizer on Tantalus V (points if you can identify which show & episode that reference stems from!) to convince me that all the contestants on this season are capable chefs, or that Ramsey is actually considering all of them to run a high-end restaurant in L.A.

Case in point, Sabrina. Can anyone really convince me she's a contender for this? REALLY? (with Seth & Amy!) Sure, she MIGHT be able to cook with some competence, but her attitude is utter garbage, she has no discipline (which Ramsey himself has noticed) and I'm pretty sure the 'Sabrina' we see on TV is totally fake. Why do I think this? In the words of Job "C'MON!" Let's think back to the grand daddy of all reality TV show players - Evil Dr. Wil from Big Brother & Big Brother All Stars. This man knew how to play the game, and play it very, very well. I'm sure if I met him in real life I'd find out he was a total douche (because he seems to be anyways) but when it comes down to competing in the most un-real of all 'reality' TV shows, he had his finger on the pulse of how it was done. Full game mode on the court, complete breaking-the-forth-wall insanity in the confessionals. The Evil Dr. Wil we met in the confessionals was a different animal than the guy who walked around and reacted with the other contestants - and he was the first to admit that. He was present, he was conniving, he was a total bastard, and he won once, and NEARLY won twice, because he could balance the game versus his real intentions.

Now Sabrina shows none of this tact. She plays herself up for the camera as the over-done bratty bimbo both in the confessionals and in the kitchen. She's too unbelievable to be real, and if she let us in on that fact in the confessionals, then I might like her more - but it's obvious she's bought her own hype, and the producers are keeping her around because she makes decent TV, and we don't really need to see the chef's do well until they're all one team anyways, right? But for the sake of my enjoyment of the show, she needs to go, and now.

Who else feels bad for Melissa and Boris? Here I two people I can sympathize with. You can tell they are both decent cooks, but neither of them can handle the pressure Ramsey forces on them. In their drive to work themselves to Gordo's expectations, they're missing the forest for the trees in each dinner service, and it got one of them sent home (Melissa - oh yeah, Melissa went home at the end of the second hour) after she was swapped to the other team, ostensibly to give her a chance, but I believe Ramsey was more interested in getting Trev over to the girls team where he proved just what a whiney bitch he really is. Boris will be gone soon, and it's a shame cuz' you know he really wants to do well and has the drive and desire, just maybe not the head for pressure that others have. Russell is my choice now, though Nona might still pull it off. The Misses has money on Gail, and the ones who fly under the radar like her usually make it all the way to the end.

Emily was sent home in the first hour, and that was just fine with me because when she talked it always looked like she was trying to avoid smudging her lipstick - I HATE that look!

Was anyone else entertained by the narrator's line "Russell's meat has finally made it out to the diners?" Just me, okay. Guess I'm no more mature than those high schoolers that Russell picked a fight with. Because when you're competing for a dream job & a 250K American salary, you really want to be blowing your top at over privileged seventeen year olds.

I'm certain the 'Getty Villa' they used for the reward in the first hour was featured in 'The Godfather'. Had to be, how many places have a reflecting pool like that?

Wicked FOX cross over! Kelli Williams (of 'Lie To Me' fame) sitting at the chef's table? Superb!

NEXT TIME: One of the chef's screws up big time? But which one!?!

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL

"Karolina Kurkova" Created by Tyra Banks

Airdate: 10/6/10 - Viewdate: 10/6/10

I'm liking this season more than previous ones, and I think it has something to do with the fact that Tyra is barely in it. Dear Tyra, 'The Fresh Prince Of Bell' Air was seventeen years ago, you need to let the bad acting go.

Is anyone else tired of hearing about how the girls want to win this so bad for their son/daughter/husband/family/mother/cat/gynecologist? You're family isn't on the goddamned show, YOU are, so just admit you're doing it because you want to, not because you want to use the money to clothe hungry inuit orphans. (How are the inuit orphans doing these days? Oh... good? They're all good now? Okay, good to know.)

If you want my opinion, (which is probably why you're reading my blog) I think Lexie should've taken the challenge - she nailed it with a straight face. But what do I know? I'm no runway coach, and my eyebrows are of a regular Human size.

Okay, I'll root for the underdog like anyone else, and when it comes to the two meter tall lanky-as-hell dork chosen to compete against the popular girls, it's easy to want Ann to win. But FOUR BEST PHOTO'S IN A ROW? REALLY? I know sometimes Tyra can play favorites (Whitney, with her mouth open all the time?) but this is a little absurd. Sure, Ann's getting some great photo's, (and I personally think that Ann has an edge as she obviously has no conception of how to present herself in an attractive manner, making her a blank slate and a sponge) is one thing, but I feel she's either being set up for failure with all the pressure that's mounting to continue to perform as such, or else Tyra's losing perspective. Surprising the girls haven't turned on Ann... yet.

Anyways, Lexie goes home, which makes me sad, I liked her.

CASTLE

"Under The Gun" Created by Andrew W. Marlowe

Written by Alexi Hawley - Directed by Bryan Spicer

Airdate: 10/4/10 - Viewdate: 10/8/10

This show has to be one of the best examples of what happens when everything goes right with an episodic network prime time drama. Like 'Murder She Wrote' meets 'Moonlighting' the classic irreverence of 'Castle' is heartwarming, comforting and intriguing all at the same time.

There's a certain timeless quality to this show. Aside from a few ubiquitous modern influences (cell phone's, computers) this show could really be set in any decade and not lose any of its relevance or charm. Entering into it's third season you can just feel how comfortable the writers are with the banter between Castle & Beckett (the perfectly nuanced canucks Nathan Fillion & Stana Katic). Nice to see they finally ditched the 'will they/won't they' romance angle and settled into an excellent rhythm of teamwork and antagonism. One of the Exec's, Rob Bowman, is a man of long TV history - I remember him well from when he was a director on 'The X-Files' and along with those quirky sensibilities, another producer from the previous two seasons (missing in the latest episodes credits I might add) Rene Echevarria, hails from another true example of timeless entertainment - Star Trek: The Next Generation. The same class and mature humor displayed by that show is on display in Castle most of the time.

So this week treasure maps and jewel heists. Great story once again. I especially liked the old man ditching his walker (obviously stolen from Pixar's 'UP') at the sign of the cops only to scale a fence and leave Ryan & Esposito holding their collective colostomy bag.

"Bikes are what girls want when they realize they're not going to get a pony". I will remember that one for sure. My only real criticism of this show would be wholly unrealistic relationship between Castle and his jailbait daughter. Unlike coy uncertainty displayed by Cal Lightman's daughter Emily from 'Lie To Me', I find Alexis to be completely unbelievable. She's too smart, to witty and too wise for a seventeen year old girl. Nothing against Molly Quinn, the actor. She does great, her character is just written like the heroine from a bad teen novel about vampires.

I must say I really was hoping to get some clues as to the coming Zombie apocalypse from this episode, but alas, until next time. And how can one not appreciate Ryan's observation of Esposito as they search the dark graveyard with heavy weaponry:

Ryan:

"Hispanic and cocky. You'll surely be the first to die!"

As formula fun as this show is, it still manages to surprise me. In a billion years I never would've called Royce being in on the crime. I will give those writers credit where it is due, and once again they get it all bang on here.

NEXT WEEK: Steampunk mayhem!

The Event

"Protect Them From The Truth" Created by Nick Wauters

Written by David H. Goodman & James Wong - Directed by Jeffrey Reinu

Airdate: 10/4/10 - Viewdate: 10/6/10

I wonder if the James Wong who co-wrote this episode is the same James Wong of early season 'X-Files' fame Glen Morgan & James Wong (who went on to make the underrated 'Space: Above And Beyond'.) IMDB will provide me the answer!

This show is being billed as the successor to Lost. Okay, so it isn't THAT engaging, but I will admit it has managed to keep me riveted across three episodes. The show moves at a pace comparable to '24' with the same quality of 'Left Turns' in the plot if you will (A 'Left Turn' is either something I learned in film school or something I made up thinking I learned it in film school - it refers to the concept that a simple, easy plot will be a straight line that makes three right turns to wind up right back where it started. In this example you can see how a 'Left Turn' would completely break that simplicity) as you would expect from a JJ Abrams production (The "King" of the left turn if you will.

One thing I always liked about 'Lost' was how Abrams, Lindeloff & others made a theme out of having characters behave against their nature, and using that to shock the audience. We don't know Sean Walker or the other characters enough yet to evaluate whether they're really doing this or not, but hiding in the trunk of a car that belongs to a Federal agent you just kidnapped so she can drive you into an FBI detachment where you can hack their system and find out who has kidnapped your girlfriend from the pilot episode seems pretty counter productive when you're wanted for murder. So good on the writers for injecting some alacrity and creativity into the Conspiracy/Mindfuck story arc that one would think was in danger of losing steam at any moment, yet finds new ways to intrigue you at every act break.

New ways to intrigue you like the dead coming back to life. Now THAT, I did not see coming. While it may be lacking in refined character development, this show keeps the audience watching by learning some lessons from its predecessor, mainly 'Lost'. Instead of each episode expanding exponentially upon an ever growing mystery, this shows conspiracy and secrets move in a somewhat more linear manner. We get an answer about the people held at Mt. Inustranka (extraterrestrials apparently) but then we get another mystery - Like men dressed as Federal agents shooting up an FBI branch with MP5's.

As you can tell, I am quite enjoying 'The Event' and I will keep watching until A) it's get cancelled (that's what tends to happen to promising new shows) B) It becomes un-watchable as they stop answering questions and return to the old method of stacking unanswered questions on unanswered questions or finally C) Things get answered too quickly and we start a whole NEW conspiracy half way through the season, a'la '24'.

So for those of you out there who haven't tried it out yet, watch 'The Event'. It's face paced, action filled and with enough surprising moments to keep you coming back from the kitchen while making dinner to ask "What happened now?"

Except for that one part with the traffic stop and the dead cop. Saw that coming a mile away.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

THURSDAY - TV Rundown... And Vampires

Allow me to be serious for a moment. There is no god.

Okay, everyone good now? Good. Because I actually don't know. I kinda hope there isn't, but just in case it'll be old 'deathbed conversion' for me. Where am I going with this you ask? Remember that season 1 'Community' Episode "Debate 109" where Jeff and Annie have to debate that man is evil?

Well I went to the Vampires today. It's one of my LEAST favorite things to do as it always ends up the same. The nurses ask me 'are you feeling okay?' I say 'yes' as at that exact moment I am. THEN they pull out their fangs when its all done and I almost pass out in the chair. Someone yells 'Code Blue! Code Blue!' and I'm surrounded by twelve Filipino nurses all laying cold cloths on my head, wrists and neck & putting sick bags in my face. EVERY-TIME!!! Why do I keep going back? For the collectible pins? Because the Misses does and I'd feel like a tool not doing so?

I just tell people how can I expect anyone else to do it if I won't? If someone continually does something they dislike muchly to benefit others, what does that say about Humans?

Hows about some TV talk already? (the vampire story is a preface to why I lost 3 hours out of my night - they wouldn't let me leave until I could perform Kenneth's NBC song & dance from tonight's '30 Rock'... how they knew about it before it aired I'm not sure - and am only able to type up some simple words about two half hour comedies.)

MODERN FAMILY

"Earthquake" Created by Christopher Lloyd & Steven Levitan

Written by Paul Corrigan & Brad Walsh - Directed by Michael Spiller

Airdate: 10/7/10

I am always intrigued by how this show can take such a simple idea, interpret it through a whole cast of varying characters, and make a hilarious 22 minutes out of it. To say nothing about how you can take a 4.3 tremor and make it into an existential exploration between a 60 year old balding man and a pre-pubescent Colombian child.

I also love that this episode provided a perfect vehicle for my all time favorite Simpson's quote (it struck me when Phil was talking about how he had been nagged so much about anchoring the cabinet that he finally broke and told his wife he did it)

Homer Simpson:

- "And now for the happy time between the lie and when it's found out."

COMEDY GOLD, and it wasn't even their show!

I am fearful of being that kind of father. But at least if I was, i'd be loveably hilarious. If you're one of those rock dwellers who miraculously hasn't seen this show, you need to tune in. It's a perfect blend of traditional sitcom trappings, documentary style testimonials and outright laughs. A comedy that really does bridge the last decade into the next one.

30 ROCK

"Let's Stay Together" Created by Tina Fey

Written by Jack Burditt - Directed by John Riggi

Airdate: 10/07/10

This episode, wicked as always, did bring a question to my lips - what the hell DID happen to the USA network? Was it owned by Lehman Brothers or something? I will give any show props when they can work in a well worded Billy Joel joke. I'm reminded of nights in someone's basement trying to remember the words to 'We Didn't Start The Fire'.

So am I to believe that Dot Com's name is actually 'Walter Dotcom'?

It's easy to appreciate this show on any given day, based on how looney it is. It's even easier when they actually take a 'Daily Show' quality pot shot at contemporary American politics - and with Queen Latifah, no doubt. You can just tell she's aching for that chance to play Michelle Obama, and her 'enthusiastic inflection' during orations could make her a congress woman herself.

Unlike the dangerous pit that 'Big Bang Theory' is still circling - (for those of you unaware of my BBT criticisms, it stems from Sheldon being a more interesting and story driving character than the supposed lead, Leonard - no offense Johnny Galecki. Please don't tape me to a chair and cut off one of my thumbs) - '30 Rock' somehow still finds a way to do an episode focused around Jack, yet gives fair share to the rest of the cast. The characters are all so well developed, you could basically roll 'story dice' and make plots out of the random combinations. See, watch:

Tracy - dolphin adoption

Burger spokesperson - Jenna

Jack - amusement park mishap

See? You could literally throw darts at a dictionary and make a wicked episode - at least Ti Fi (like that, I coined it, just now) and her killer writers could.

I will find a place at one of two thanksgiving dinners this weekend to call someone a "Houston foreclosure of a Human being".

So as long as I don't lose any more blood tomorrow (or spend 3 hours surrounded by Filipino nurses) I'll have a lot more rundowns for you - and for my very first commenter on this lovely blog, I'll make sure Monday's episode of 'Castle' gets a feature.

WEDNESDAY - Nothing to report.

I've put two full hours of 'Hell's Kitchen' & another 'America's Next Top Model' under my belt, as well as half an episode of 'The Event' (which I am hard core enjoying right now) - but I'm just too damned tired to get it all out tonight. Sleep may be for the weak, and if that's the truth then it matches my flesh but not my spirit!

Breakdowns, examinations and terribly witty commentary coming tomorrow! For reals! I'll get it all down before I drown in '30 Rock' and everything else that is Thursday awesome.

See you all then!

TUESDAY - TV Rundown

Tuesday is supposed to be the easy TV day. With only 'Running Wilde' on, I'm supposed to be able to catch up to all my Monday viewing today. But instead we did dinner at Nanny's house with the in-laws. Family is great - but it does mean losing some viewing time & having to absorb another Christopher Eccleston episode of Dr. Who through the back of my head whilst I type. I need a netbook. Donations welcome!

Anyways, onwards!

THE GOOD GUYS

"Common Enemies" Created by Matt Nix

Story by Matt Nix - Directed by Peter Lauer

Airdate: 10/01/10 - viewdate: 10/05/10

First of all, it's good to see Ethan Phillips getting work. I was at the Vancouver 'Trek convention in June where I met several legendary 'Trek actors (and 'ate a sandwich' with Vaughn Armstrong, but that's a story for another day) and while there, having met Jeffery Coombs, Armin Shimmerman and others, I wished on each of them that they would continue to find work. While Phillips was not there, I'm still glad to see the 'Trek curse isn't keeping everyone down.

And Phillips 'LaViolette' (which they could not seem to pronounce right for the life of them through this episode) was definitely an excellent antagonist through which one can unite Stark & Bailey. (Doesn't sound quite as sharp as 'Starsky & Hutch' does it? Or at least, not yet...) Two leads so often at each others throats brought together, it's an excellent left turn on the usual 'Dan gets them in trouble, Jack needs to think them out of it' routine that this show has developed.

And the creative and innovative story telling continues! Dan tasting evidence, and having that be a perfectly suitable and believable (within his character of course) way to lead our two gumshoes to their next clue? Ie, recognizing the barbecue sauce and identifying it to the exact restaurant! Wish I could think up this stuff.

Much like his other masterpiece, 'Burn Notice', Matt Nix continues to make fantastic use of titles, flashbacks and tiny one liners like 'Time Bandit', "Cuz' he's stealing our time!"

You can just see this shows budget increasing week over week. Great job this time around with the Tech Bandit scaling down the walls of a Dallas sky scraper, and the shows ubiquitous car chases become more original and thrilling with each new iteration. Matt Nix and his team have really created a gem of a show for themselves - and it floors me that Fox actually bought these guys for another season. Sure, they're on Fridays, but it doesn't feel like a Fox friday show if you watch it on Tuesday. It may inhabit the time slot that (unfortunately) killed 'Dollhouse' and (fortunately) Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles. (How you can take a TV show about a time traveling homicidal robot and make it boring, I'll never know.)

And whereas HIMYM will rely on plots from old shows to create new ones, 'The Good Guys' does what you SHOULD do - take a tiny element from a past show, in this case Dan loaning Jack the 'Foghat' album - and bring it back to develop the characters. (Did any of you expect Jack Bailey to be a vinyl fan? I sure didn't.)

And finally, what an unexpected act break with Ray Wise (a wicked shot, apparently) as the down and out senator taking our female leads hostage. I can usually call what's coming, but that I did not see. And one last final inversion of the cliche', yes, our heroes do crawl through dust and dirt up a high rise to rescue the girls, but we have them scaling the stories and stories of piping instead of a ventilation shaft. If you're gonna use the cliche', make sure to freshen it up, like they did here.

Way to go guys on another great show. If you haven't watched 'The Good Guys' do so before it gets canned. It's this years 'The Unusual's' and just might last a while longer.

NEXT WEEK: Danny Trejo shoots Wayne Knight in the face. IN THE FACE!

RUNNING WILDE

"Oil & Water" Created by Mitchell Hurwitz & Jim Vallely & Will Arnett

Written by Franklin Hardy & Shane Kosakowski - Directed by Troy Miller

Airdate: 10/05/10

David Cross is really getting his time in the sun with this screwball comedy. He resembles the late, great (or not so great, depending on your side of the divide) Yassir Arafat in that red & white scarf dealy. And how could one not drop an 'Arrested Development' reference with him around, say one like:

Andy:

"I'm freezing off my blue man group!"

And yet, for all the great lines - (another brilliant piece was one stolen out of the mouth of Jack Donaghy - "It's an acquired taste, like Condor.") this show can feel too clever by half, if you will. It captures that perfect screwball essence, reversal after reversal after reversal and back again. Sometimes the writers seem to be turning the plot back over on itself so many times the jokes and zingers get lost in the exposition. 'Arrested development' did this as well, but grew into it's own writing over time, making the rapid fire dialogue work for itself, rather than against our enjoyment. This show might need a season to settle down, but if they keep nurturing it this way, 'Running Wilde' could be the next '30 Rock'. It even has the utterly shameless product placement. KFC, really? Whatever keeps you on the air I guess.

"The Reagan years, a great time to be seven." Having been there myself, I can agree. Couldn't say I'd feel the same way if I was twenty seven, but then my hair would've been far worse.

What's with Mitchell Hurwitz's creepy obsession with young, wise beyond their years freckle faced girls? First Alia Shawcat as Maybe, now Stefania Owen as Puddle? I suppose it could turn into a unique signature, like Joss Whedon's dialogue, but only time will tell on that one. Unless the time bandits steal it all.

I do like how this show pokes just as much fun at whack job liberal activists as it does at right wing morons. In fact, this show could even be labeled 'subversive' based on how the stories tend to side with the inherited oil billionaire (especially in his enjoyment of his 'job', something that was surprisingly more touching than I expected) rather than the cut throat environmentalist - at least 'cut throat' in this episode. Watching Keri Russell's Emmy morph so easily into a take no prisoners petroleum exec is almost frightening. And there we have the commentary, how the crazy left and the crazy right are only about a half a degree different from each other. Message, people!

Tomorrow we're down to business. I've cleared out space on the box, no family dinners to interrupt. Some good, solid TV time is on its way.

Hey! Simon Pegg is on an episode of 'Dr. Who'! Run for your lives kiddies!

MONDAY - TV Rundown

Monday is both my most & least favorite TV day. Can we guess why? Is the answer to both those questions "Because there's so much quality TV on Monday night." Si senor! You try both watching AND blogging about every worthwhile show on Monday and see how well you do. (Of course, if you don't work like a chump, ie me, you'd have more time in your day/night to catch up on everything quality that is fit to toss and not have my problem.)

All airdates are as they appear on my cable box.

BOARDWALK EMPIRE

"Broadway Limited" Created by Terence Winter

Written by: Margaret Nagle - Directed by: Tim Van Patten

Airdate: 10/03/10 - Viewdate: 10/04/10

No matter how slow this show moves, or how little the plot actually progresses, I can't help but continue to enjoy both the quality of the acting and the inventiveness in the story. This series is really bringing Steve Buscemi's limitless talent to the attention of everyone who tunes in, downloads, streams, watches it through a camera obscura, whatever. Proves he's got acting chops that Hollywood has never really let him stretch. Maybe it's because he's so god damned homely. Talented, but dear god, homely. (Steve, if you read this - unlikely - it's not personal. I'm just being Rush Limbaugh-esque in the hopes of boosting my readership. Score so far: Zee-ro.)

Canadian Club! I had to. Every time I see a show that gives props to Canada in some way, shape or form, I gotta point it out. Good to know that we were keeping the puritan masses liquored up during their thirteen year experiment in sobriety. I did very much enjoy Chalky the Red -Jacketed-Pimp (he was supposed to be a pimp, right? I mean come on, black guy, in a RED freakin' jacket talkin' twenties Jive? Pimp.) Please forgive me, but adds a little 'colour' to the drab scheme this show lives in. At the end when we see 'Liquor Kills' scratched into the side of his car, how many of you could hear the epic words "You don't mess with a black mans ride!" resonating in your head? Well I did. And since I'm writing this, that's all that matters.

Our latest episode also taught me more about 90 year old treatments for gonorrhea than I ever wanted to know. Here again lies this shows strength. In true 'Mad Men' style it embraces the age it's from and shows us all just how important it is to bag the little boy before you send him to night school.

And typing of little boys, what about that poor kid in the dentists office? Quite possibly the origin of every young persons fear of the dentist stems from this one scene: You just never know when two Feds will haul in a man with a festering abdominal wound and torture him for information in the same seat you were just getting your cavities filled. Does this happen all the time at the dentist in 1920, or just on the day of this poor boys visit?

Once again, worth watching. Great writing without being pretentious, great acting with out being over bearing. AND great nudity. Leave it to HBO to works boobs in somehow. And girl on girl action, even if Kelly McDonald is fully clothed, we all knew what was really being alluded to.

Or was that just me?

The Amazing Race 17

Accra, Ghana

Airdate: 10/03/10 - Viewdate: 10/04/10

It's really hard to Blog about TAR (The Amazing Race, retaards) if you haven't been to the places they go week after week. I remember learning a *little* about Ghana from a West African Art History class I took in University. All of their Kings sat on special ceremonial stools. And they had some divine figures called 'zambles' I think. ("Aaack! Zambles!") What I DO remember though is the line in the Simpson's episode 'My sister, my sitter' when Bart dials over a driver to antagonize Lisa while she's babysitting:

Driver: I am here to pick up the ambassador from Ghana.

Lisa: I'm sorry sir, but you've been deceived.

Driver: Why would the ambassador do such a thing?

Yeah. So does anyone else think that the father Michael in the father/son team should've been the ringer for selling those glasses during the Roadblock? Have you ever been in a convenience store in Vancouver? He should've just leaned on a counter reading a magazine, those cheap ass sunglasses would've sold like crack cakes (cuz I never understood why 'hot cakes' would sell so well). And what chance does a half trash/half rocker white guy have selling over priced, under-manufactured merchandise on the streets of West Africa?

Did anyone else find some kind of bizarre irony in watching unskilled white people - on a TV show for crying out loud! - trying to bring a broadcast signal into the slums of Accra? Maybe that isn't irony, I'm never good with the definition. But it was... weird.

And I'm sure you all caught the sign 'Kofi Anan Training Centre' when one of the teams was lost. "For aspiring leaders of neutered world bodies."

Last but not least, watching the Acapella guy get de-nied a Hi-5 from a tiny Ghanan child? PRICELESS!

Winners of this leg: Brooke & Claire. Their prize, 10 days all inclusive in Hawaii, where they will guest on CBS' other show, Hawaii 5-0.

HOUSE

"Unwritten" Created by David Shore

Written by: John C. Kelley - Directed by: Greg Yaitanes

Airdate: 10/04/10

Okay, so before I knew the son was dead I found it almost oppressive the 'Harry Potter' references in the opening. The scar on his face? In the words of Job, "C'mon!" This was however a nice lead in to yet another one of House's idiosyncrasies, his apparent obsession with children's literature.

I'm also enjoying what they're doing with Cuddy as well. No longer will she simply be the foil for House. She's being worked in as a near member of the team now, or at least being made complicit in House's various offenses, meaning the writers want to take this relationship further and explore just what one can do with Cuddy when she isn't perpetually annoyed. (or maybe she still is, but we get to see more of the affection!)

[Sidebar: I'm still waiting for them to bring back Cameron. Sure, they FINALLY removed Jennifer Morrison's name from the titles, but you have to appreciate just how delicious it would be for her to come back and mess up everything between House & Cuddy.

It's also nice when we get a patient who's a decent match for House - And Amy Irving's Alice (or Helen, if you prefer) Tanner did serve as a great means to hold a mirror up to House and his pain, especially since he can actually be 'happy'. At least for a few more episodes. I mean, you don't often see House surprised by someones actions, but when she put the syringe in her leg, there it was on his face.

This episode also shows why i've been waiting so long to get that MRI. I'm fine until my double vision turns to triple.

And what are the lessons we continually learn from this riveting mystery series? (cuz the medicine portion of it is only periphery when you think about it)

House rule #1: EVERYBODY LIES!!! (just like it says on the back of Taub's labcoat.

House rule #2: IT'S NEVER LUPUS!!! (actually seemed a little lazy the writers would even insert that as a diagnosis. Eh, they can't all be gold.)

Best lines:

"It's not a tumor."

Chase. (seriously, you said this in a medical show?)

House:

"I need a vagina."

Cuddy:

"I'm pretty attached to mine."

NEXT TIME: The women come to House to replace 13 (who we all know will be back sooner or later, or else why is Olivia Wilde still in the titles?)

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

"Unfinished" Created by Carter Bays & Craig Thomas

Written by: Jamie Rohnheimer - Directed by: Pamela Fryman

Should've been called "Where's the poop."

As much as how uneven this show is bothers me, there's still something genuine about it that seems like a warm blanket. It might stink, be full of holes and old as the hills, but somehow, it still makes you feel better. Sometimes honesty in TV is better than laughs, and once again this just-barely-a-hit episode reflects a part of my life back to me that I didn't expect to see on primetime TV. This episodes kernel of truth: The idea of your phone storing a 'version of yourself' that you can't let go of. We all have those things about ourselves that are not true, but wish were true. I wish I was Rugby player. It's unlikely, but I still wish it. (I also wish I was a successfully published and syndicated writer, but one step at a time).

My nerd quotient was filled tonight with talk of 'Rebel proofing' the new GNB sky scraper & remarks about the clearly labelled 'Garbage smashers on each detention level'.

And did anyone else find it an amazing piece of acting that NPH could appear to be so bad at picking up another man?

However, I am still waiting for this show to do an episode that is current, and not a sequel/continuation of older, better episodes. You can't mine your history forever HIMYM.

And that's it for today. There's still 'Lie To Me', 'Castle', 'The Event', 'Hawaii 5-0' & 'The Good Guys' to type about, but I need to be up in 7 hours and I still need to manufacture a lunch for me and the misses. Thank god the only worthwhile show on Tuesdays is 'Running Wilde'. Don't miss it!